


Consider the Lilies

by You-Know-Who



Category: Utena
Genre: Angst, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2002-03-25
Updated: 2002-04-04
Packaged: 2012-12-26 14:55:33
Rating: K+
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,557
Publisher: www.fanfiction.net
Story URL: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/680709/1/
Author URL: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/129507/You-Know-Who
Summary: *Chapter 3 is up* SKU after the end of the TV series. With Anthy gone, what will become of those left behind? Focuses mostly on Kanae Ohtori, Ruka Tsichiya, and Akio Ohtori. >forgive the bad summary





	1. Prologue

Author's Note: This is what happens when I buy lilies....well, and html until my brains fall out. I've been working on a site for Kanae Ohtori lately as well. And I need fan fiction about her for it. If anyone else is interested in submitting some, please let me know.  
  
Disclaimers: I do not own Kanae or Akio Ohtori. If I owned Kanae, I'd take better care of her. ^.^ And if I owned Akio... o_O gaaah....my mind hurts now...  
  
*Also, this might somewhat spoil the end of the TV show. It's only a slight reference to the aftermath of it (pertains to Anthy).*  
  
It's official…I hate Word..and..grrr  
  
~~~~~~  
  
Akio had been absent so usual from dinner. He'd have a good excuse. There was always one. Perhaps tonight it was sadness at the sudden disappearance of Anthy. Perhaps it was paperwork.  
  
Whatever it was, it must have been important.  
  
It never occurred to Kanae, except when she was all alone in the candlelight watering her lilies, that perhaps she should have been important too.  
  
Even then, it still seemed irrelevant. Akio was a busy man.  
  
Her mother had always said that a wife owes her husband duty, loyalty, and patience. She had never mentioned what exactly it was a husband ought to do.  
  
Kanae wondered, as she gently wiped the leaves of her flowers dry, if wives were always so alone. She winced feeling guilty for thinking slightly ill of him. He after all was the best thing that had ever happened to her.  
  
She blew out the candles and put on the lights in the her room, hoping that in the light she would be able to forget these nagging thoughts that were so horrible.  
  
She began clearing the dishes with a natural, unconscious grace and brought them to the kitchen to wash. She forced her green eyes to concentrate solely on the soap suds and what little food there was to be removed from the porcelain.  
  
It wasn't enough.  
  
She wasn't sure why. She had been feeling this way more and more lately. More than anything, she wished she could be of any small comfort to Akio.  
  
Obviously she wasn't. He was avoiding her for that reason.  
  
Being an only child, Kanae conceded that the bonds of a brother for a sister or vice versa must be strong. But...why couldn't he even talk to her about it?  
  
She wiped at her eyes once she had dried the dishes and put them away.  
  
She went to her desk, glanced at the astronomy homework she had left to do, but found no will whatsoever to apply herself to the task.  
  
Astronomy didn't interest her at all really. She had taken it in the foolish hopes that....  
  
She sighed.  
  
She was the problem. The one part of the equation that didn't seem to fit.  
  
After all, how could she complain? Her parents had more important things to do than worry about her. Her father was ill, possibly dying. Her mother was dealing so much. And Akio...  
  
She sank down next to the two small lilies that she had been growing after turning off the lights again, and stared mournfully up at the stars.  
  
She didn't want to be a burden.  
  
She was a burden.  
  
She wanted to be loved.  
  
She wasn't worth loving.  
  
She felt such an ache inside. She had no idea what to do with it. Her mother had never told her. Her father wouldn't have understood. Her husband- to-be shouldn't have to be bothered with her worthless problems.  
  
She had never been able to articulate to Akio why she hated his looking at the stars. She couldn't get the words past the tip of her tongue.  
  
Looking at them alone, she understood. They were so big, so connected to one another. You could tell what constellation they made up just be looking at them. They were silent, but they knew their place. They had the arrogance and majesty that Akio had in his eyes....but....  
  
She was small. She didn't feel connected to anyone for any other reason than everyone else said she should. She wasn't like the stars. She was so unsure of everything.  
  
She sniffled and curled up on the floor underneath the larger of the two lilies and focused on the heavenly fragrance of its petals.  
  
"Kanae-chan?"  
  
She looked up not too surprised to hear his voice. Her mother had given him a key to the room he had told her months ago.  
  
"Hai, Akio-san?" She sat up on the floor and shielded her eyes from the lights as he turned them on.  
  
Akio smirked at her. "Why are you sitting here in the dark?"  
  
"....I was thinking..." Kanae said feeling guilty for having done nothing.  
  
He regarded her briefly and glanced at the lilies. He frowned slightly at them. "Sou....what are those doing here?"  
  
"Hn?"  
  
The severity of his features lightened as he gazed at her confused, doe eyes. He smirked and chuckled which caused her to look down and blush. "I'm allergic to them, Kanae-chan."  
  
She gasped. "Gomen!"  
  
He shook his head. "Iie...but I hope you won't be too upset if I ask you to get rid of them."  
  
"Of course not," she said fighting off a feeling of regret at having to toss them out. The feelings of guilt won out as always. "I'll get rid of them right now."  
  
She missed his smirk as she glanced back over her shoulder at her lilies.  
  
Akio chuckled again walking over to her.  
  
"Leave them until tomorrow, Kanae-chan," he purred kissing her cheek.  
  
"H-hai, Akio-san," she said giving the flowers a sad smile as he took her hand and lead her out of her room.  
  
The lights were turned off again as the couple departed, and as if aware of their fate and that of their late mistress, the lilies began to wither.  
  
  
  
~~~~~~  
  
Comments and criticism is greatly appreciated. ^.^  
  
I hope the Japanese is not too unfamiliar. I used it because some things just sound right in Japanese....and I'm crazy...so never mind. (*Note: Sou=right or really in Japanese, Gomen=I'm sorry) 


	2. Chapter 1

Dedicated to Dee-chan.

Author's Note: Edited some of this…and have reached the end of my patience with my computer.

~~~~~~

__

The garden of the Ohtori mansion was flooded with lilies in the spring. And they were tended to in such a careful, gentle manner by Kanae's mother that she could sometimes sense her father's jealousy.

Thin, pale, and allergic to just about everything, Kanae's father was almost always ill for some reason of another. His confidence was only to be found at Ohtori academy. At home, he said little and read often. 

He could tolerate the lilies, but they were never allowed in his office. Very little was allowed in his office. 

The only time he had ever raised his voice was when Kanae had crept in one night and sat at his desk coloring in pictures in her sketchbook. She had never made that mistake again.

Kanae shook her head trying to let memories go as she glanced at the lilies by her window that she still had yet to throw away. 

She couldn't bring herself to do it, but she had to. There was no way they could stay after all. They looked so sad. The petals were beginning to fade and drooped as though wincing at how easily they were to be abandoned.

__

Winter had retreated and the lilies beginning to emerge from the soil when her father's health had begun to take a sharp turn for the worst. Even for him. He spent more time in the study and coughing then anything else.

Kanae regarded him with sad eyes whenever he appeared at dinner, skin ridiculously pale, and eyes shining a strange dark green. He would push his blonde hair from his face and smile at her weakly. It took everything in her not to cry.

It had been an oddly cold spring day when she had been allowed in her father's study for the second time ever to the best of her recollections.

Her mother had been the one to tell her. She smirked after she had relied the message for Kanae to go to the study. Her mother's brown eyes had pierced her though her main focus was still the frosted lilies that she was defending for the cold. Kanae had shivered the cold feeling more intense the longer she tried to hold her mother's gaze. She bit her lip almost drawing blood and she had gone inside.

The house was oddly silent when she entered and took off her shoes. She whispered that she was home, though no one was there to care.

Slipping off her coat, she stared up at the two ornate and spiraling staircases in the very center of the house. They wound around each other like snakes. One lead to the west wing with the bedrooms, the east wing was mostly her father's world. The library was the furthest place down that hall that she had ever been.

It felt draftier than usual and she wished she had put on something warmer than the white cotton dress she was wearing. Her fingers clasped the white silk scarf around her neck and she had breathed in the soothing fragrance of the vase of lilies by the top of the stairs. She remained there until she knew hesitating any longer would be rude.

Once she reached the dark red door of her father's study, she knocked gently and was surprised when a purple-haired Indian girl with glasses flashed her a mostly vacant smile and ushered her in.

She glanced around nervously at the painting of her grandfather and grandmother in the corner before looking over at her father and.....

She forgot just about everything the first time she saw Akio. Except his eyes, shining with genuine amusement like twin stars...though in the corner of them, there was something darker.

"Konnichiwa(1), Kanae-san," he said before the effects of his gaze were interrupted by her father's coughing. 

Kanae had blushed and looked down. Unsure what to make of this man whom she had never met but looked at her in such a familiar way.

Her father had told introduced them and told her that her wanted her to make dinner.

She nodded agreement and went back downstairs.

She had sensed something more was meant by everything that had just happened. Throughout preparing dinner, she had felt like invisible eyes were watching her. She tried to brush it away, but she couldn't help feeling nervous.

Her father and Akio looked rather pleased with themselves as they sat down to eat. Her mother had been icy and unpleasant particularly in her direction when she had shakily spilt some of the soup onto her mother's plate rather than into the bowl on top of it.

Anthy had quickly taken over the task while Kanae sat down next to Akio uncertainly.

She focused on the lilies in the center of the table and wished for dinner to be over as soon as possible. Wishing for everyone to just go away when she felt her hands being gently squeezed.

She looked up at Akio who gave her a small smile before moving his hands back to his side as the servants made themselves useful cleaning up the plates.

Her father gave her a sincere smile that made her even more nervous, saying in strained voice, "That was very good, Kanae-chan."

"A-arigatou(2)," she managed.

"Onii-sama (3) cooks very well too," Anthy said with a smile that baffled Kanae entirely. She couldn't bring herself to look at her for more than a few seconds. Something troubled her about Anthy though she had no idea how to articulate this.

Then, her father had made the announcement and everything else that night had been a blur.

She remembered them leaving though. Her mother had given Anthy some lilies which she accepted in icy politeness.

Kanae had felt too much like she was drowning to say anything at all, even when her father prompted her to say good-bye. 

Her father had given her a reproachful look when Akio laughed. 

"She's had a long day, ne?" he had said on her behalf. "It's all right. She'll have more to say tomorrow hopefully when Anthy and I drive her to school."

Kanae had nodded dumbly and left the room. She had paused at the staircase leading to the bedroom but her feet didn't seem to have the will to move.

"Upset, Kanae-chan?" Her mother had said smiling.

"No..just..." she shook her head unsure what to say.

"He's a nice boy. He'll be a very good match for you, I'm sure," her mother had said, eyes gleaming. 

Kanae had nodded on the verge of tears. Perhaps with the small grain of pity her mother possessed she sensed it. She squeezed Kanae's shoulder rather tightly, digging in her nails.

"It'll work out, dear. Why, your father and I had an arranged marriage and look how well we're doing."

There was a pause and her mother started to chuckle.

Kanae had blinked back tears telling herself her mother was just drunk.....but....the words stung so sharply that she forced herself to begin moving up the stairs lest her mother add anything. 

Her mother sank down on the steps laughing loudly before dissolving into something more like crying. Kanae heard the shattering of a vase, and turned around watching water run down the tiles like transparent blood. The lilies lay strewn about, victims of her mother's rage. She turned and saw her father climbing the stairs to his study indifferently.

Maybe Akio was right. Maybe she should throw the lilies away, Kanae thought beginning to cry in the present moment. 

~TBC~

Good afternoon Thank you 

(3) Honorable older brother


	3. Chapter 2

Disclaimers: Obviously, Ruka does not belong to me either.

Author's Note: I'll be updating whenever I can and when the muse strikes. I think I've also been suckered into writing an Utena musical...mostly due to my own nagging and listening to "I can't say no" while I was writing this and realizing it was perfect for Kanae. ^^;;;;;

~~~~~~

The third day after Akio had asked her to get rid of them, Kanae still had the lilies. She was a bit nervous as she glanced at them. She really needed to throw them out before Akio saw. She didn't think he'd be very pleased.

Since the school day was over and they weren't going to leave of their own volition, she decided that rather than destroy them, she'd put them in the greenhouse. Akio didn't spend anytime there so they wouldn't cause him any problems.

Sadly, the lilies were wilting anyway. She blamed herself, of course. She had never been good at taking care of anything or anyone in her opinion.

She propped the door open with her foot as she carried the two pots outside into the hallway.

~~~~~~

"What's with the lilies? Did someone die, Kanae-chan?"

The smooth tenor voice behind her made no effort to disguise its owner's amusement. 

She knew the voice without turning around. It was Ruka. He had been rather sick lately and consequently held back a year. If it bothered him, he didn't show any signs of it. 

In the back of her head, she thought she remembered a time when he had been....dead..but...no, that couldn't be. She would have remembered. 

She looked back over her shoulder and shook her head smiling. "No, Ruka-san. No one died."

Ruka brushed a strand of powder blue hair out of his face and smirked.

"Then why lilies?"

He took one of the plants from her before she could answer.

"Aa....they're not doing well at all," he said frowning slightly, eyes glinting.

He looked up at her with the same concern as he had given to the wilting flowers. His eyebrows furrowed and he bit his lip before going back to the flowers. Kanae found herself wondering what he had been about to say, but it must not have been important.

He smirked playfully. "You still haven't answered my question."

"Ano, I just thought they were pretty, but they need to go. Akio-san is allergic to them."

"Hn," Ruka said looking at the lilies then over at her again.

Kanae found herself blushing under his scrutiny then blushing as a result of being embarrassed in the first place. She sighed. Ruka was after all a pretty shameless flirt.

He threw his head back and chuckled as she continued to flush.

"Sometimes, if you'll forgive me for saying it, I think it's too bad Ohtori-san isn't allergic to you, Hime-chan," he said after awhile.

She looked down at the lilies she was still holding and smiled gently attempting to hide it among the slender ivory petals.

Ruka took them from her and pretended to stagger under the meager weight of the two pots. "So. Where are these monstrosities supposed to go?"

~~~~~~

__

The lilies had begun to fade the day Kanae's mother had slapped her. Kanae had been playing the piano in the downstairs study while she had been upstairs napping. 

Kanae had run off from the house as fast as a twelve-year-old girl could. Her mother, still angry, had made no effort whatsoever to try and stop her.

Her white dress was torn and her legs scratched and sore when she was stopped by a bunch of boys on bikes. They had been sitting under a tree throwing cans at squirrels and making general nuisances of themselves when they spotted her.

They zoomed in front of her and she had barely seen them through her tears. When she had wiped them away, she noted the leers on their faces which emphasized that they were older than her by several years.

She sniffed and regarded them suspiciously trying to find a way around them.

One boy moved in front of the others and stared at her with piercing emerald eyes. "Where are you going, Hime-chan?"

Princess.

The other boys snickered at her.

Kanae was too hurt from her mother's anger to articulate her annoyance. She turned around and began to walk the other way.

"Oi, Hime-chan!" said the emerald-eyed boy riding after her. "Too good to talk to us?"

The others laughed and started making fun of her family. Assuming correctly that she was Ohtori.

Kanae felt she ought to be angry, but the remarks were too true to cause her to do anything but cry.

"Oi," came another far younger boy's voice from Kanae's right. "What are you idiots up to?"

Kanae brushed back green curls and tears to eye the blue-haired boy who was about her height and she assumed around her age.

The older boys chuckled and the green-eyed one sneered at him.

"Ah, so you do have a little friend, Hime-chan," he said riding over to the newcomer's side. 

The blue-haired boy smirked, eyes glinting with amusement, making him seem older than his appearance indicated. "Hai. And you know what else?"

His voice lowered and his eyes narrowed almost threateningly.

The older boy shrugged with indifference and leaned in. "What?"

No one there including Kanae and the older boy had expected the square upper-cut to his jaw or the sickening crack that caused the rest of the boys to vanish.

"Nobody should make a princess cry," the blue-haired boy said kicking the fallen teen in the stomach.

Kanae found herself blushing when he moved over the whimpering boy to her side.

"You okay?"

She nodded silently, green eyes sparkling with gratitude.

She bowed gently, "My name is Kanae Ohtori."

He bowed curtly. "My name is Ruka Tsuchiya."

He gave her a more innocent smile that made him look more like the twelve-year-old child he was before taking her hand.

"Here, I'll walk you home, Hime-chan."

~~~~~~

The greenhouse looked horrendous, overgrown with untended, wilting roses and weeds of various shapes and sizes. There was little room for Kanae and Ruka let alone her lilies.

She sighed.

"Himemiya-san took care of this place," Ruka said kicking at a weed.

"She..hasn't been gone this long," Kanae said wrinkling her nose and glancing around the greenhouse.

Ruka frowned, "Ohtori-san needs someone to take her place."

Kanae pondered the ominous tone of his voice, but decided that she would have to take care of this abandoned garden and it dying roses.

~TBC~


End file.
